10 Tips For Surviving Your First Glastonbury 

1. Walking – Oh my god, just the thought of the first day makes me go white. I was not prepared for the amount of walking involved with Glastonbury, you can call me naive but I just didn’t think about the walking part. The first day I’m pretty sure i walked 1000 miles in search of somewhere reasonable to camp, this resulted in me getting sun stroke AND sun burnt; I looked like a melting alien. HORRIFIC. Just be prepared to walk and don’t forget sunscreen. Save yourselves and get in early, ques are to be expected.

 2. Toilets – I’m going to be vulgar here so apologies in advance. You are going to shit on someone else’s shit, at first you will exclaim to those around you how disgusting it is, but after the 3rd time of using the compost toilets you will just get on with it like you’ve always used these god for saken hell hole piss pots. Glasto has mostly compost toilets, and trust me they absolutely stink so props to those who empty them out hourly.  But lets just put this into perspective, 170,000 all going about their business makes for some truly horrendous scenes. Toilet paper up the nose if you’re a delicate flower and you’ll be ok! Antibacterial hand wash is a no brainer!

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3. Water – Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate…all the walking and alcohol is going to ruin you. You’re mouth is going to be like ghandis flip flop, your brain as functional as Bez’s which leads me nicely onto…

4. There’s more to it than the music- I had a right knees up in The Unfairground at Bez’s Acid House, and also Shangri-La Hell. The lineup is only a tiny part of Glastonbury, so tiny…I don’t think you understand…TINY. It’s such a visually beautiful place to be, you will get all soppy if you sit on the hill by the Glastonbury sign surrounded by everyone staring off into the distance after a heavy day preparing themselves for an equally heavy night.

5. Wellies – ALWAYS take wellies, this is a farm after all and the grass gets ridiculously muddy. I made the mistake of not taking them to my first Glastonbury, and I paid the price…not that I cared too much at the time.

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6. Food – the food here is amazing I actually miss walking out of my tent and getting a falafel and halloumi wrap. Words cannot describe how much food I ate the last time I went, you’re meant to lose weight constantly walking around but I did the opposite, thanks katsu curry.

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7. Spare clothes – Leave yourself fresh spare clothes in the car for the journey home because you’re going to feel like a foot and also smell like one.

8. Air bed – So many times have I slept on the hard floor at a festival like a peasant. Glasto I always pack the air bed, I can’t live in a tent for a week without one now.

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For reference this is how close everyone is.

9. Don’t pack the kitchen sink – You have to lug your belongings miles, do not bring your entire wardrobe! I planned outfits prior and managed to shove everything onto a sack truck (buy a decent one) and the other bits i shoved into a backpack.

10. Embrace the moment – Glastonbury is a weird place, really fucking weird. Just embrace everything and let your inner wild child fly free.

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Other tips worth considering;

-Don’t camp next to a path

-Take a burner phone

-Arrange meeting places with your friend(s)

-Stay clean to the best of your abilities (dry shower gel exists and it is amazing)

-it’s worth buying a decent tent

-Alcohol! You can take it anywhere in the festival with you which means no pricey bar tabs!

-Lastly it’s like nothing else you’ve ever seen, trust me.

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P.s Don’t forget to pack your ticket where you more than likely look like an escaped criminal.

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