For anyone wondering this villa is actually on Airbnb, and it is stunning.
10:30am: First full day in Marbella, my boyfriend is insisting we leave the villa to explore Purteo Banus. It’s 23 degrees outside and it’s only 10:30, my skin is so white i should come with a warning label ‘Keep out of direct sunlight’, how will i survive such heat?! and more importantly how will my makeup survive such heat? I am now filled with all these first world problems…that is until my boyfriend throws my Urban Decay Setting Spray at me. THANK YOU MAKEUP GODS! I totally forgot i’d bought this. I do my makeup, i do my hair, i throw on the floatiest of dresses and i spritz my face with the magic water, which comes out less water fight and more on the side of cooling and refreshing; almost therapeutic . I hold little hope for it holding out in such intense heat, call me a pessimist, but with a life full of makeup letdowns (Nars Orgasm blush i’m looking at you), i never get too excited.
12:00pm: The car has air con i am safe here, the car dashboard reads at 28 degrees and i know it’ll keep rising. My makeup is looking great still, considering i’ve already walked to the shop at the end of the road this morning to buy an ice lolly and i broke out in a mini sweat. Purteo Banusis slightly crazy and obviously favoured by the super rich, i can’t quite believe what i’m looking at and we haven’t even parked the car yet. My boyfriend isn’t used to driving a 4×4 so obviously parking was slightly comical, i’m sure he’d say otherwise.
12:30pm: Oh my god, OH MY GOD it’s hot…it’s really fucking hot. My boyfriend is insane for wanting to come out in this heat, this is why i’m strictly a night owl on sun holidays. Get me back to that villa pool right now! I can do this, it’s fine it’s just a bit of 32 degree heat, you got this girl.
3:00pm: After lazing about in the sun and looking at all the designer clothes i can’t afford, i have completely forgotten about the fact i am still wearing makeup; and with no mirrors around i’m glad because i feel as if i am melting alive. Boyfriend suggests food, which is the best idea he’s had all day.
4:15pm ish: As we all know alcohol and makeup do not mix. If your skin is anything like mine, it turns blotchy and patchy. It’s 4:15pm and lunch has turned liquid for me, 3 strawberry daiquiris later and shots of limoncello (it comes out with basically every meal you eat in Spain who knew) i decide it’s time to look at my face in the toilet. I walk in head down avoiding any mirrors, ready to be greeted by the face of a sweaty, patchy ogre…but wait a miracle has occurred, my face is the same as it was 6 hours ago.
5:00pm: Back at the car and remember it’s about time i took a photo of my face to prove i’m not fabricating my love for Urban Decay.
Disclaimer: Yes i do pull all the typical photo faces and poses i can’t help myself.
5:30pm: Makeup is still so good i decide i won’t bother redoing it for the meal i’m heading to at 9pm, just hoping it holds up for another 4 hours whilst i have a quick nap.
7:00pm: I slept way over the hour i thought i’d sleep and woke up in a dazed and confused state, makeup is still alive and well although i don’t recommend falling asleep in a maxi dress. I now decide even if i wanted to re-do my makeup i don’t have time, so i just change my lip colour and put on fake eyelashes as my own lashes are poor excuses.
8:30pm: Pre dinner photos and i’m still wearing the same foundation, concealer, powder, eyebrows as this morning. This is an excellent achievement and by this point i’m considering adding it to my CV.
Overall i’m clearly thrilled my Urban Decay Setting Spray managed to last over 13 hours in up to 36 degree heat. If it can last in Marbella without fail, then it can last the winter months on the streets of the Midlands this winter!
1. Walking – Oh my god, just the thought of the first day makes me go white. I was not prepared for the amount of walking involved with Glastonbury, you can call me naive but I just didn’t think about the walking part. The first day I’m pretty sure i walked 1000 miles in search of somewhere reasonable to camp, this resulted in me getting sun stroke AND sun burnt; I looked like a melting alien. HORRIFIC. Just be prepared to walk and don’t forget sunscreen. Save yourselves and get in early, ques are to be expected.
2. Toilets – I’m going to be vulgar here so apologies in advance. You are going to shit on someone else’s shit, at first you will exclaim to those around you how disgusting it is, but after the 3rd time of using the compost toilets you will just get on with it like you’ve always used these god for saken hell hole piss pots. Glasto has mostly compost toilets, and trust me they absolutely stink so props to those who empty them out hourly. But lets just put this into perspective, 170,000 all going about their business makes for some truly horrendous scenes. Toilet paper up the nose if you’re a delicate flower and you’ll be ok! Antibacterial hand wash is a no brainer!
3. Water – Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate…all the walking and alcohol is going to ruin you. You’re mouth is going to be like ghandis flip flop, your brain as functional as Bez’s which leads me nicely onto…
4. There’s more to it than the music- I had a right knees up in The Unfairground at Bez’s Acid House, and also Shangri-La Hell. The lineup is only a tiny part of Glastonbury, so tiny…I don’t think you understand…TINY. It’s such a visually beautiful place to be, you will get all soppy if you sit on the hill by the Glastonbury sign surrounded by everyone staring off into the distance after a heavy day preparing themselves for an equally heavy night.
5. Wellies – ALWAYS take wellies, this is a farm after all and the grass gets ridiculously muddy. I made the mistake of not taking them to my first Glastonbury, and I paid the price…not that I cared too much at the time.
6. Food – the food here is amazing I actually miss walking out of my tent and getting a falafel and halloumi wrap. Words cannot describe how much food I ate the last time I went, you’re meant to lose weight constantly walking around but I did the opposite, thanks katsu curry.
7. Spare clothes – Leave yourself fresh spare clothes in the car for the journey home because you’re going to feel like a foot and also smell like one.
8. Air bed – So many times have I slept on the hard floor at a festival like a peasant. Glasto I always pack the air bed, I can’t live in a tent for a week without one now.
For reference this is how close everyone is.
9. Don’t pack the kitchen sink – You have to lug your belongings miles, do not bring your entire wardrobe! I planned outfits prior and managed to shove everything onto a sack truck (buy a decent one) and the other bits i shoved into a backpack.
10. Embrace the moment – Glastonbury is a weird place, really fucking weird. Just embrace everything and let your inner wild child fly free.
Other tips worth considering;
-Don’t camp next to a path
-Take a burner phone
-Arrange meeting places with your friend(s)
-Stay clean to the best of your abilities (dry shower gel exists and it is amazing)
-it’s worth buying a decent tent
-Alcohol! You can take it anywhere in the festival with you which means no pricey bar tabs!
-Lastly it’s like nothing else you’ve ever seen, trust me.
P.s Don’t forget to pack your ticket where you more than likely look like an escaped criminal.
Exercise…the word that either fills you with joy or complete indifference. If you’re anything like me, the thought of anything that makes you sweat and look like a pond monster just isn’t interesting to you. I had never found an exercise, or way of eating that i could keep up successfully. I’d avoided the countless gym invites from friends because i didn’t want to be the token fatty puffing away at the back of body combat; because avoiding doing something is so easy so why would i change now? Over the years i’ve been fully aware of situations that i’ve avoided due to my health and lack of confidence, any exercise or diet i took up, was all part of vanity and comparing my body to others. I knew this was an unrealistic way of trying to be healthier, and the main reason i kept failing at my efforts to become that perfect size 10.
Luckily i am no longer on said quest for the perfect body, instead i am now looking at my diet and fitness as a way of improving myself for the right reasons. Below is my usual red, puffy post exercise face, you can tell in my eyes that i was not born to exercise. I am not a natural born cyclist that’s for sure, but all i can do is try.
I wish there was a filter that could cover this much redness, pure whore red. Seriously if i can exercise and look this bad you can to.
It all started two weeks ago when i was running up the stairs at work. When i got to the top of these 10 steps i was out of breath… ‘oh my god’ i thought to myself. It had happened i had reached peak unfit April. This hadn’t happened before, and i knew that i had to do something about my health. Although this time it would be for myself and not for vanity i promised myself.
This is not a blog condemning those who don’t exercise, or are carrying extra weight, that’s just not my thing. This is a blog for people who can relate to huge anxiety attack that is the gym, and exercising in front of others. The people that want to make small changes, and those who want to read about a fat girl trying to be healthier.
1.Start slowly – If you power storm force 10 into hardcore intense body shaping boot camp for 60 minutes, a) you won’t make it through the 60 minutes and b) it’s going to put you off massively. I started doing fitness workout videos on YouTube, mainly on Popsugar Fitness because the woman didn’t piss me off as much as the other workout videos i have previously tried before.
This video was the hardest workout i had ever done, and still is the hardest thing i’ve ever done now, BUT i am improving as the weeks go on.
2. You’re not drinking enough water – The average daily amount of water you should be drinking is 2-2.5 litres, which sounds easy enough but it’s very easy to forget. I found a helpful app called Plant Nanny which goes by your weight as to how much you should be drinking daily, and it reminds me hourly not to forget to have a glass of water.
Oh, and in case you were wondering my plants named after Yannis Phillippakis.
3. Keep a track a track of your progress and achievements – Keeping a diary helps keep me motivated through all those times where i’m left questioning whether all this green veg and exercise is really worth it. I keep track of the tiniest things like how many steps i did that day ,or if i drank all the water i was meant to.
4. Don’t deprive yourself – If you were to take every food that was unhealthy out of your life, you would feel as if you were back in Victorian England. I don’t care what anyone says, if you have a choice between Papa Johns and a salad you’re gonna be going for that stuffed crust Hawaiian every time…unless you’re some kind of alien. Depriving yourself of all things unhealthy is one way to make yourself unhappy and fall back into your old habits. Try incorporating healthier options gradually, and replacing your go to snack for something in the same kind of taste zone. I have a huge love affair with Haribo bubblegum bottles, they are a delight but i found pineapple to be as sweet, and also satisfied the craving for sweets. Each week i cut out certain foods from my diet and add them back another week, or sometimes not at all. It helps keep food interesting.
*This is an example of how much avocado i can stomach because it just tastes so much better when its guacamole.
5. Take time out for yourself – Emotional wellbeing is just as important, if not more important than physical wellbeing. I have a jolly old time keeping my anxiety under wraps in front of friends and family a lot of the time, and i’ve never really found anything that’s helped it. But i do find taking time out for myself to do the things i enjoy really important, i took up painting again even though i’m by no means a painter. It gave me the energy to focus on something else for a change, rather than the 100s of pointless worries i had. Emotional wellbeing is so important, and i can’t stress that enough.
6. I joined a gym – The thought of the gym before i went to the gym, filled me with absolute terror, all those sweaty judgemental people will judge me i thought, they’ll point at me for being over weight. I avoided going so many times, i said i’d join so many times. But i was just lying to myself, i would never join because i let my anxious mind get in the way. I felt awkward exercising in front of others, even my own boyfriend, it made me feel strange even i knew i was being ridiculous. Then last week my boyfriend signed us up to the gym down the road from our house, i was excited, i couldn’t believe i was going to go to the gym. I had 5 days to think about it and i was fine, until the Friday, i cried on and off all day, i was terrified, utterly terrified. My anxiety was sky high, i was freaking out i decided i didn’t want to go. My boyfriend somehow convinced me to put on my exercise clothes and trainers, get in the car, and go to the gym…so i did. We arrived and i got straight out the car, he did all the talking to the reception woman and we were in. We were at the gym i was here…and guess what it wasn’t even worth worrying about. Every one keeps themselves to themselves and gets on with their own thing. I had worried for nothing, but isn’t that always the way with anxiety.
1. You will run out of toilet roll no matter how prepared you are.
2. There’s a lot of basic items you’ll forget to buy.
I am craving beans on toast, lets go fulfil that craving…oh wait i don’t have a tin opener.
3. You will clean every where it will look great, and then 3 hours later it’ll look like the same shit tip it was before.
4. See that bread in your cupboard? It’s going to go mouldy.
5. Remember when you didn’t pay for the privilege that is electricity? Remember when you’d roll your eyes at your dad for moaning about leaving lights on? Well guess what, now you are your dad, and you have some kind of electricity sixth sense.
6. You’re gonna go to IKEA, and get carried away only to be told the total and be like
But i only bought photo frames and glass bottles ornaments…and a rug, oh and 8 pillows…that’s it i swear part from the book case and the coffee table?! You will say.
7. You’re going to get obsessed with candles. You will also have at least 1 candle related conversation a month with your mum, or an older female work colleague.
8. That first time you go home only to find your room isn’t your room now. Your brother has turned it into his new wardrobe/xbox room/living room/he’s living the life and has 2 rooms. Unfortunately this room is no longer yours.
9. Food is expensive, really expensive; i took my full fridge at home for granted, and my £1.90 Sabra humous addiction is not cheap.
10.You’ll slowly turn you place into a home, somewhere you want to come home to, and it’ll feel surprisingly satisfying.
“I like the idea of lipsticks named after boys. Why commit to one when you can have several?” — TOM FORD
I’m pleased to announce i have 10 new men in my life, because sticking to 1 is so 2015. Packaged in a black and gold box it’s chic, it’s effortless, it’s luxury; so it’s only right that Tom Ford works within this chosen colour palette so often. I opened this on my 25th birthday and i will admit i had no idea what it was, as i’m not that familiar with Tom Ford beauty products. But something i am familiar with is the initials TF, and i knew that it was going to be expensive and i would be forever indebted to my boyfriend.
When i think of Tom Ford i think instant glamour and timeless looks, and that’s exactly what this product is about. Although retailing at £270 i understand it’s not exactly on everyones payday shopping list, but that’s where i come in to inform you all you can buy these colours individually (you probably already knew this though). Yes i know this box doesn’t come cheap, and yes i understand it’s just lipstick but it isn’t just any lipstick is it!? I’m sure there are ‘dupes’ out there but for once i just don’t want to hear it, every once in a while you should treat yourself, and you should try the expensive lipstick. Every man and women every now and again is deserving of this kind of wearable extravagance.
All the lipsticks in this box are striking and individual, the colours definitely have a lot more about them than your usual lipstick. Cleverly named after the men in his life that have inspired him, you can wear a different man every day if you catch my drift.
Theo – my penchant for darker lip colours will never die, i love the tones, and depth you get with darker lipsticks. Theo is my new dramatic friend, the staying power of Theo is admirable he does not budge, i wore him on a heavy night out and only reapplied once in the 8 hour period. This colour creates an air of power and sophistication, it’s a welcome twist of the already crowned market of the darker lip.
Julian – I can’t say that i’m a huge fan of the nudes, the pinks, the beiges when it comes to lipstick but that’s only because my life has been consumed for so long by bold colours. Julian has shown me that milder colours can still be as impressive as the bolder colours. I wear Julian mostly as a casual shade, a sort of every day colour, it accentuates your lips further without having to commit to too much colour. The application of these lipsticks is extraordinary, this is due to the lipstick being made from rare ingredients such as Brazilian murumuru butter, soja seed extract and chamomilla flower oil. The luxurious ingredients make for a more rich and luscious texture making for smoother application.
With so many of the colours in this palette being muted pinks and metallics, this set has given me the much needed push i need to try different tones when it comes to my daily makeup.
Leonardo – I like to think this one is named after Leonardo DiCaprio, although it probably isn’t. Leonardo is my fail safe, he is my rock, my one and only…Leonardo is a red lipstick. I have every shade of red lipstick going, i will wear any shade of red, don’t try to tell me it doesn’t suit my skin tone because i am not listening.
I’ve probably worn makeup every single day of my life in some way since i was in year 9, so that would have made me 14? I think? Yeah i’m going to go with 14. My obsession with makeup started quite young as you can see, and of course it started with me dipping my hand into my mums makeup case. What were all these strange things? A pen for your eyes? Paint for your face? Say what now? Urban Decay was the first eye shadow palette i was ever brought and as everyone knows Urban Decay weren’t famed for their subtle undertones back then (i’m talking way before the naked palette ladies and gents) in fact i’m pretty sure it was this palette:
that i was wearing the day my form teacher wrote a note in my school logbook telling my parents about how my eye-makeup was more suitable for a ‘discoteque’ than a day at school. Looking back she was probably right but i was in love with my green eye shadow how dare she make me wash it off with cold water and crumbly cheap tissue paper. I’ve experimented with makeup for most of my teen/adult life so i thought why not experiment not wearing makeup for a week…which i thought sounded easy, too easy in fact, well i was definitely wrong. I learnt 5 things that week:
I’m uncomfortable with my makeup-less face
Taking makeup free selfies requires you take double the amount of selfies you would usually take until you find one that if people saw you wouldn’t punch a mirror.
People are going to ask you if you’re ill or tired a lot.
It gave me more spots.
I have no will power as i caved and started wearing makeup again about halfway through the week.
Enjoy reading my handwriting.
Saturday the night i caved hard to my inner makeup temptress, call me weak but my makeup is on point here so i don’t care.
My actual Glastonbury photo where i’m makeup-less which is odd.
I completely understand that not wearing makeup for a week is by no means a wonderful achievement, but i felt like being less dependent on something I’ve worn on my face for years.
I’ve been all kinds of sizes in my 24 years on this earth, from a size 8 to a size 18. Right now I’m at my heaviest and I’m going to be truthful, I’m also at my most self concious. Being concious about my body is nothing new to me at all, I’ve always been somewhat aware of my body type not being the same as my friends but it never really bothered me until I hit 20. I’ve avoided social situations and even skipped on job interviews because of my weight. I’ve tried all kinds of diets; the infamous “Beyonce diet” which consists of honey, cayenne pepper and god knows what else, to the 5:2 fad diet. In a world that’s so anti fat it’s not surprising that us fatties feel some kind of social pressure to lose the pounds, and 4 years ago April would have caved in to pressure and started losing weight in an unhealthy way. 24 year old April says fuck you to all these judgemental fuckwits that are overly obsessed with how women look. I’m still self concious , I’m only human! But I’m taking small steps towards having a more positive outlook on my body so I can be happier in myself.
1. Stop comparing yourself to other people. You’re not them, you’re you. Stop wishing you were someone else!
2. Focus on your positive attributes. What makes you different from other people? Look at yourself as a whole person, there’s a lot more to you than your physical appearance.
3. I don’t like my legs they’re chubby little sausages and even if I had all the confidence in the world I doubt I’d get them out, so don’t feel like you have to show off you’re whole body to radiate positivity. It’s all about you being comfortable in yourself. Everyone feels negative about themselves in life it’s completely normal you aren’t alone.
4. I personally think women are beautiful in general. So never describe yourself as average.
5. Don’t compare yourself to others because comparison is the thief of joy.
6. Modern culture perpetuates some really unobtainable standards of beauty don’t let it other people dictate the way you see beauty.
7. Your personality and actions say a lot more about you than your body. People won’t remember that you were a size whatever but they will remember that amazing compliment you gave them.
8. We as people need to stop with the judgemental body comments and start with the body positivity. The internet gives people a cloak to hide behind whilst they dish out all the body snark comments, it gives people the opportunity to encourage each other to say hateful things. We’re all guilty of commenting on people’s physical appearance, so let’s all take the step to be less judgemental.
9. Choose happiness! Your life should not be dictated by a number on a scale. You are so much more than that. You are beautiful today.
10. Stop worrying what everybody else thinks.
As cliché as it is nobody is perfect so why do you think you can be the exception? Chill out.
I want to take a second to talk about a colour that’s very dear to my heart. A fashion trend that will always be on point whatever the weather, whatever the year and whoever may be wearing it. This colour is of course black, as the saying goes ‘I’ll stop wearing black when they invent a darker colour’.
Black clothing is chic, black is elegant, black is mysterious yet obvious, black looks good on all skin tones, it suits any hair colour, black suits both sexes and finally black is arrogant and shy.
Black has a power that no other colour or print has, black is a year round colour, so you never have to worry about black going out of fashion. Black shouldn’t be cast off as a funeral colour as quite frankly that’s a gross injustice of this wonderfully dark colour that fills my life with so much joy.
It’s a delight to see all these wonderful blogs about Spring fashion, and i do truly enjoy looking at people’s different picks on what they’ve chose as their spring favourites. BUT i feel i’m going to represent the Gothic corner and back black all the way, like it or not people black is here to stay.
So here are a few of my favourite pieces for Spring.
I am obsessed with jewellery, some people have a penchant for shoes, others for bags but my Achilles Heel is most definitely jewellery. I often hear people say how they ‘don’t suit’ jewellery, well my friends that is quite simply ludicrous as i believe everybody suits jewellery, and everybody should wear it. Jewellery is a subtle way of extending your personality to others without even speaking. From time to time i’ll dabble in the making of my own jewellery, which is extremely rewarding and therapeutic. One day in the not too distant future i hope to turn it into my profession, but until then i will just marvel in awe at all the delightful high street jewellery the world has to offer me. So whether you’re a golden girl or a silver fox, jewellery is a great to explore your personal style. Now i am a HUGE fan of Asos as you can browse through hundreds of different makes and designers in one place, this is my come to place for adding new pieces to my ever growing jewelry collection. These are just some of the pieces that have caught my eye lately and will add an interesting twist on any Spring outfit. Clickable links below for all the items above.Earrings: Oreila Stone and Crystal Stud Earrings £12, Asos Mismatch Cinema Earrings £6, Oasis Faux Pearl Flower Through & Through Stud Earrings £8.Necklaces: Warehouse Wishbone & Bar Multirow Necklace £12,Tatty Devine April Showers Cloud Necklace £35,Aldo Harmonie Beaded Collar Necklace £30.Rings: Tatty Devine Decoupage Flower Ring £21, Orelia Open Teardrop Ring £12,River Island Filigree Excrusted Chain Ring £6.
So recently I tweeted that I was going to be doing a blog about MySpace, and a couple of my followers responded about the shame they have over their MySpace accounts. This got me thinking about everyone’s said shame over their MySpace days…But I say screw the shame and bring on the celebration! The Celebration of how awkwardly Emo we all once were! If you haven’t already guessed by my blog I love a list, I list every thing, and I mean EVERY THING. So here’s my memories of the MySpace days from my geeky Emo perspective.
1. We all knew someone who was “famous” on MySpace.
2. Taking photos with actual cameras, ACTUAL DIGITAL CAMERAS.
3. The forever famous MySpace poses.
4. Why did we feel the need to give ourselves MySpace names? Oh hey BeckiRawr;<3!
5. Posting a bulletin was the early 2000s version of posting a Facebook status, only without the crippling social shame of zero likes.
6. Thinking you were some kind of HTML wizard because your background moved.
7. An about me that captured your angst ridden Emo teenage self. Oh I’m so mysterious and interning….
8. PC4PC anyone? or maybe dedicating a photo to someone? OR maybe you owned somebodies photo?
9. Top 8 drama.
10. Choosing your profile song to show how edgy you were. Check out this band every one they’re like Funeral For A Friend except you’ve never heard of them.
11. Jeffree Star…need I say more?
12. FRINGES EVERY WHERE!
13. Everyone was really shocked all the time.
14. There were 3 types of people who used MySpace: Emos, Scene kids and Chavs.
15. You were really jealous of anyone with facial piercings.
16. Stretching your ears much to your mum’s despair.
17. Eyeliner, eyeliner and more eyeliner because who doesn’t want to look like the distant cousin of a panda bear?
18. Local bands doing local gigs was the event to be seen at come the weekend.
19. You spent most of your time filling out extremely self obsessed quiz’s, where you would obviously leave “Are you a virgin?” blank.
20. Skrillex was Sonny Moore and FFTL were a big deal.
21. Girls had some terrible, TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE extensions. I feel 3 terribles don’t quite explain the extent of how bad some girls weaves were. Raccoon extensions anyone?
22. Tacky Plastic jewellery.
23. Everyone’s sexuality was extremely questionable, was she gay? was she straight? Who even knew.
24. Which leads onto the fad of Emo/Scene guys kissing other Emo/Scene guys.
I am obsessed with jewellery, some people have a penchant for shoes, others for bags but my Achilles Heel is most definitely jewellery. I often hear people say how they ‘don’t suit’ jewellery, well my friends that is quite simply ludicrous as i believe everybody suits jewellery, and everybody should wear it. Jewellery is a subtle way of extending your personality to others without even speaking. From time to time i’ll dabble in the making of my own jewellery, which is extremely rewarding and therapeutic. One day in the not too distant future i hope to turn it into my profession, but until then i will just marvel in awe at all the delightful high street jewellery the world has to offer me. So whether you’re a golden girl or a silver fox, jewellery is a great to explore your personal style. Now i am a HUGE fan of Asos as you can browse through hundreds of different makes and designers in one place, this is my come to place for adding new pieces to my ever growing jewelry collection. These are just some of the pieces that have caught my eye lately and will add an interesting twist on any Spring outfit. 
Paisley-May Says... 